......as simple as that for ur simple ass

Orange in blue ink.
I mean, she said songs in A minor, but I know no keys, so I'm more about my colors. They're my business. Orange in blue ink. Pink in brown paper bags. Green in blue jean pockets, or mulitcolored wallets. But never the less, colors.

I've decided that I am going to be all that I can be. I have so much creative potential, I was about to combust. So I've decided to do much more than I have been. A mere five dollar investment in a sketch book has my mind wide open. I am in love with a mechanical pencil that has a good eraser. I draw until i feel the urge to write. Then I write until I'm out of words, so I draw. Its that simple.

I have a t-shirt and sweatshirt line coming out. I never wanted to be a designer, I can't design for the masses because I am not a functioning member of society. I only like what I like. But I can't wait to put my words on sweatshirts. It's all about clever sayings, I'm calling my half of it all Idio Box. I'm scared that if I don't get it copywritten, someone will steal it. Then again, I'm no genius.

Hmm... whatelse can I say?
Oh, she is she no more. I mean, I must admit I wasn't over it for a while, but now that I am, I have no interest in going back. She was a headache and a half with a heart for drama. I can't fathem people like that. She wants me when she's alone, but she's not alone so I don't want her. But I do want someone else, someone new. Boy or girl I'm down for whatever. As long as they don't start talking relationships until I'm honestly ready to give someone my undivided attention and time.

That is all.
Until next time...

....why do we love love, when love seems to hate us?

I'm completely over it and over you.

Everyones the same. No matter where I turn I end up with more of the same. No point of running into someone elses arms if they feel the same. I'd rather have no reminder at all that you existed. I'm going to start trusting myself and my ideas from now on. I don't know why I haven't been trusting myself more often than now.
I'm not going to put myself out there anymore, thats so over rated. I'm gonna remain unavailable and unemotional. I do better that way. (SOUND FAMILIAR?!) But I mean it this time. I don't want to be different any more. I want to be same old unavailable me.

When I do my hair, wear more feminine clothes, people say I'm pretty. I'm always me, but when I feel I dress the best, I get no recognition. Respect my individuality and with-hold your accolade's.

I don't want to be in love if I have to go through all the bullshit to get there. I'm just not that interested in having emotional validation. My mother loves me. My father loves me. Why do I need to stand before a gawking audience of doubled-faces and profess my love for another individual. Because this love this is supposed to result in marriage right? I don't think I can stomach the same individual for the rest of my life.

I don't want it.
And you never truly had my heart anyway.
It just sounded good to say.

...vent #207

Red and blue make.....

So that chapter is done, now what?
*stop looking over my shoulder*

I can't get over the feeling. Not the one you gave me, because quite honestly I felt the same way... we're better off how we were. I'm talking about before it was hard work just to maintain a relationship. Before shit was technical.
I want to be caught up in the bliss of ignorance again.
I remember when he said "I love you" and I had no idea what it meant. But I replied, blindly I might add, "I love you too." And from there, the snowball grew. I've dug so many holes throughout this universe, that I don't think I'll be invited into the next. I ride around, with no music (not by choice) and count. I've had that kind, that type, I think I've actually had him. And I point. I don't know why him, him either... lord I remeber that one. I can't for the life of me figure out why so many. Its innumerable how many types I've conquered. Well not  conquered persay, I'm no sexual deviant. But I've given my time, thoughts, heart, mind to so many different types, I can't seem to find a different. I want someone, something that I've never had before. I can't put my finger on it, but I know it has ten fingers and ten toes....I hope.
I just need a change.
The constant cycle is so familiar... it's killing me.