...who run it?

iiM back on my blog game...

Such is life...and it goes on.... so why dwell?
You say, it's gonna be different. But who am i to believe u? Honestly, mama taught me to move forward. But it's so damn hard tryna accept progress when people are placed on this earth simply to halt it.
I am a self proclaimed bitch. At least, i can be. It is not my porogrative to make u comfrotable in your own skin, no is it my duty to be sweet to you and hold ur hand. It's a hard world out here, trust me i know. I've lived in it for going on twenty years sweety and trust, the majority of people i've interacted with have made me who i am today. Hard, rigid, cold, a self procalimed bitch. I could care less about your feelings. I'm gonna be me reguardless.
I am blessed with tact. I do not go out of my way to single you out and make u feel worse about urself. And i am a big propent in exchanging pleasantries. But beyond that, assuming much more makes an ass out of u and me.
I am a sweetheart i swear, but that's beneath my shell. If u can make it past the cynacism and sarcasm...if u can survive all of my mental blows directed at your emotional woes, than u can meet me. Hi, I'm Taryn. And they don't call me obnoxious for nothing.
I am tired of feeling like i have to explain myself or water down who i really am. I get it, it aint self expression if people don't question it. But i don't have to answer. Instead, i'd much rather ignore u. Majority of my day is spent ignoring people and they're ignorant comments. "She mean yo"...."She mad rude son"...."You got a smart as mouth, you know that?"..... Why the fuck would u recognize something about me that i never knew about myself. Anything u notice in me, i've developed, i've harnessed and i've honed. I've made me who i am with a little help from outside influences. So SHUT THE FUCK UP, STOP WHINING AND TAKE THESE WORDS....cuz being a bitch about it will only make me dig harder.

You say bully, i say human being, many say Bitch, i say okay. But this bitch got layers so i'd watch wat u say.... you might hurt my feelings.

...u can hate me but why knock my hustle?!

What The FUCK is life?!

And how do u maintain it?!

Such it is tho, i'm alive. Tis a blessing to see another day. I forgot why i blogg(ed) for a while but i'm back to drop my mental woe's onto this empty forum. The struggle to be forever greateful gets harder and harder with the dawn of every fresh morning. And it's hard to be greatful for the shit u got when it's only shit u got. But i am alive, so i am blessed. ((Lunacy to put shit&blessed in adjacent sentences)) I wish i could stay the person i am when i'm on my bullshit. But once and a while, i have to have some sort of emotion and thus, i am in the mess i am in now. They say we are confusing... but i am honest, and frank, and tactful, and truthful. If u can't accept my words, suck that shit up and get over urself. Eat'm cuz it's nurishing to learn about urself, and others. Not to mention i'm a pretty cool person. How can u like me so much and not want to be with me? Sorry if she hurt ur feelings, but me and her got two different sets of parents, different names, different families, not to mention i'm sure we live in two completely different realities cuz i'm so out of this fucking world i'm pretty sure she's not even n my universe. Not to mention, I AM NOT HER. And IT'S NOT OKAY. I don't have feelings like everyone else. I don't exude love, or compassion, nor do i give a fuck about most of everything. So u should take it as compliment that i gave a fuck about how ur day was, or how ur feeling or whats wrong. But whatever. Such is life.  And i'm back on my bullshit. I think i like myself better when i'm n my shell....Luckily i'm a ninja turtle ;-)


N Other News:
In the spirit of the up-an-comming holidays, i've decided to show a bit of compassion. First, I will allow these swagger jacking BITCHES to go on tryna live like me. I' pretty sure they won't go far but whatev. Also, i've decided to give some of these  "artists" a chance....So good luck to:
-Nikki Minaj
-Wale
....etc

Gotta be sum'n for me to write this....

You know, you have the ability to drown in your own mind. It is possible.

My heart hurts, but I don't think it's broken. In fact, I don't think my heart has ever really been broken. I am a self-admitted bitch but ultimately I am female. I have feelings and layers, I am sensitive to an extent. But shit... it's easier just to be unfeeling. Crying pains the soul, it doesn't clense it. Being depressed is easier than being happy. I don't want to become my old emotional self. I like the rigid Taryn. She's ruthlessly unfeeling and unfazed. Her life is easier simply because she's detached. I love to be her, she's like my shell...my cape... my hollow exterior both hard and complete. But beneath, there are broken pieces. Tattern and worn from my teenage love affairs. What is love by the way? I digress, I could've loved him. Shit, I think I liked him alot... but when I like someone so much, I tend to push them far away. The farther the better. And the easiest way to keep them far is to convince myself that nothing will come of it. Ultimately I've done more harm to myself than help. But whatever, I can't tell someone how to live they're life. If that's what he wants cool. I guess because this is the first time I've put my heart into anything since my last relationship, it stings a little extra. Oh well, I'm alive. And I wish you luck in all that you do with whomever you plan on doing it with.

Where's the computer lab guy that i'm in love with???