....

there's so much stuff that people do to feel accepted. they change themselves, alter themselves to fit into society. there are a great few who feel like they're different... like the shit they do makes them different, when in fact it makes them the same as all the other "non-comformist". Point Proven. But reguardless of the reason, i believe there is hardly gratification in this shitty society we live in. people play sports to be gods among ants, but in retrospect, if they get hurt, they can either be classified as just another ant of just another injured ex-sports star. children take on crafts to make their parents proud, but what happens wen they fail or when they no longer wanna be a part of the craft they've perfected.

But it's ok, i now have the answer. We all need to do positive things to help the world around us. Things like volunteering, helping the natural earth, helping the church, helping humanity and animals... Those things are the only things that could actually lead to gratification. There is nothing material or monteary that could lead to someone being completely accepted by those around them. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE! Society is nothing but a compilation of complete assholes. So0 all you "non-conformists" who think they have no need for the world to accept them, they're complete liars. But to fullfill that need that they don't want anyone to know they have, it's always an option. So take heed to the shit i spelled out above, and think on it.

brainFART!

...i'm a DICK/ im a-dict-ted to0o you!

So0 work isn't really work round these parts...
Moreover, I do nothing more than sit behind a computer and day dream. Oh, and of course I aide the internet-illiterate. AND I LOVE IT! However, i have become mildly addicted to a couple shizzows... Dare I say, it makes me feel a bit more connected to the normal world? And the list goes a lil' sumn like thiiisss:

• Lost
• 30 Rock
• Gossip Girl
• ER
• 90210 (bluffin ass show!)
• The Office
• ANTM (i kno, so0o0o sad)
• Grey's Anatomy
• Veronica Mars

&& I'm almost positive the list shall grow in the near future...

...i'm jus ghetto/i'm just me

Today is just one of those days. The world around me is spinning and at the same time I'm twirling in my own seperate orbit. My insides are spinning out of control. So fast, that I'm lightheaded, and dizzy. I almost feel sick. I don't know if I can blame harmones for this unusual occurance, but I'm not looking for anyone to blame. Usually, I would be wondering who's fault it is that I feel abmornally. This time, however, I know it's nothing more than something. So what do I do about this. How bad did I want to simply sit in my bed and stare at the ceiling today? It didn't start out promising. But I couldn't land a landed thought due to the fact that I was floating. How did I start floating? It's been so easy to maintain consumed with the bullshit that I swim through on a constant basis, that I forgot that being of majority water, I do have the ability to float. So I floated over the day as if i were ignorant to anger. This time of the month is the easiest to be angry. But instead, I've acted almost adolecent. Becomming increasingly angry through out my life, I miss the days when I was unadulturated energy and sunshine. Unconciously today, I toyed around with the notion of me being numb to all consuming anger and, instead, being simply numb. Well not entirely numb, because no matter how much medication I take, I continue to have cramps :/. But beyond the physical, I wasn't in mental anguish. Still, something is plaguing me. I have no idea what and I woke up feeling like something bad was going to happen to me. It is now 5:55pm and I am still alive. Now whether or not I make it to 6:00 pm is not up to me. But I hope I do. I haven't been arrested, no one has died to my knowledge, and overall my day has been pretty boring on the external. Internally, it's a whole other story. But I don't know how to put it in words just yet. So i'll just say that it's just one of those days. The world around me is spinning and at the same time I'm twirling in my own seperate orbit. But I guess that's just me....

Go figure.